Mayo Angelou said, “Just because you are in pain doesn’t mean you have to BE a pain.”
I had a client tell me he purchased a series of five deep tissue massages. I asked how it was going. He said, “Well I don’t swear and yell at the therapist like I do when you massage me.” I asked him why not. He told me, “I don’t want the therapist to think I am a wimp and can’t handle the pain.”
I had another client tell me that when she use to train at a big gym she never complained or whined during her sessions. I asked why. She said she didn’t want everyone in the gym hearing her sound so pathetic. She said, “I don’t want everyone thinking I am a loser”.
Let me get this straight, with me you can swear and yell. With me you can complain and whine. When you are not with me, you cannot because you don’t want anyone to think you are a wimp or a loser. I am here to tell you that you are not a wimp so handle the pain like a champion. You are not a loser so handle the session like a winner. I know you can because you do it when you are not with me!
Guess what?! You are not alone. We all go through pain. Pain does not give you permission to be mean nor does it give you the right to be a wimp or a loser. In fact pain gives you the chance to prove your strength and understand your weaknesses. It gives you the opportunity to rely on others who care about you and walk away from those who sabotage you. Pain has the amazing ability to create relationships and break up relationships. Pain can motivate change or can also spiral you into insanity. Pain can teach a lesson or promote ignorance. Pain can create a community or cultivate loneliness. Pain can deepen empathy or intensify impassivity . Pain will come in and out of your life so learn to use it to your advantage.
Being in pain hurts – I get it. Living with chronic pain is uncomfortable – I understand that. Feeling like you have no control over your pain is depressing – I have been there. Being a pain because you have pain – you are on your own with that.
Are you a pain?