I came upon this photo and it brought back so many memories. When this photo was taken I had started yoga teacher training which was in conflict to my family’s wishes, my motherly duties and it was going to take up my spare time that I should have been taking to catch up on sleep . I promised myself that I would get all of the 200 hours done in 8 weeks while raising three children with a husband who traveled half the time. Whenever I could, I took three to four classes a day. I traveled around from studio to studio getting experience from various types of yoga teachings and instructors. In class I was always the first to raise my hand to volunteer to teach even though I did not feel confident. I laughed at my mistakes. I cried out of frustration. My stomach was in knots when I had to teach in front of the class. My body would break out in sweats when I heard myself speak Sanskrit. Although becoming a yoga instructor is what stamped me back into the fitness world, it is truly what made me realize who I had lost, who I had become and who I wanted to be.
I had been a stay at home mother for six years. My body belonged to making babies and feeding babies. Doctors and teachers addressed me as “Hi David’s Mom”. Before that I had been married to a military officer so I was greeted as , “Hi Mrs. Lieutenant Commander Bernstein”. It had been years since someone had asked me how I was doing without the follow up of “Where is your husband flying to?” OR “How are the kids?” I can remember the first time someone asked me, “How are you doing?” I was signing in for a my yoga training and the instructor asked, “Hi Lisa, how are you doing?” I teared up. It was such a simple question but it made a huge deal in my world. I was being asked about myself. People wanted to know me . To everyone there I was Lisa the crazy one that subjected herself to impromptu teaching. I was Lisa, the person who couldn’t pronounce “Ujjayi” breathing without giggling. I was Lisa, the woman who had no idea what Lululemon was. I was Lisa, the student that was determined to be seen as a yoga instructor and not a mother of three children or a pilots wife.
Sometimes we lose sight of who we are. Sometimes we forget what were suppose to do. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our day to day “crap” that pretty soon weeks turn into months and we realize we haven’t done anything at all for ourselves. Make a commitment once a month to stand in front of the mirror with pen and paper and ask yourself, “How are you doing?” Write down goals. Write down what makes you happy and what makes you sad. Write down what you want to change. Write down what you like about yourself. Take the time to ask –
How are you doing?